It’s your hair, so what?
Posted by: inbavalli on: October 4, 2009
To the daughter who thinks she’s old enough to handle her own hair:
No, at nine, you aren’t that old. C’mon, you aren’t even a teen yet! As your paati would’ve said, “molachchu moonu ela paayala”.
No, I will not let you chop off that beautiful waist-length hair. That stupid friend of yours went for a stupid bob cut – most unsuitable for Chennai climate – because her stupid mother is too lazy to maintain her child’s long hair.
Yes, I’m a horrible, stubborn, bulldozing mother. But I care for you, tresses included.
Yes, maybe I do view your hair as if it were my very own acreage of agricultural land. After all, I’ve ploughed it with almond oil, weeded out lice, massaged it, washed it meticulously and groomed it for the past nine years. You bloody well shall shut up and keep your bloody hands off it.
I’m sick of saying all this to you in nice, polite language. If you ever get to read my blog, please note that I’m actually capable of more meanness than what you currently accuse me of.
Lots of love (really)
Amma
21 Responses to "It’s your hair, so what?"
aiyoo poor thing, when is the age you will let her have her own style?
Btw, a lesser than neck length would suit chennai’s climate, isnt it?
Problem is it grows to neck length within days and then it’s endless irritation. As it is this girl sweats like a pig.
She can decide her hairstyle when she’s old enough to wash it and groom it all by herself.
i used to have same arguments with my mom, for opp reasons. she wanted my hair short all the time. she also liked me in sleeveless dresses but that i didn’t mind so much.
she always won, of course!
Ohh..the same argument used to happen at home when me and my sis were in college..me being the elder(obedient!!) one,i didnt cut my hair until i was almost 22..my younger sis who had amazingly beautiful hair went ahead one day (at the age of 19) without even telling my mom..all hell broke loose that day..but what can u do about spilt milk and cut hair!!
But you know what the fallout will be, dont you? 
I lived with my grandparents, under the same strict rules – till I was old enough to go to the hairdressers by myself and got aa “boy-cut”. The longest my hair’s ever been since that time is shoulder-length 
As I told Sachita, she can raze down her hair to her heart’s content, but only when her haircare goes totally into her hands.
These girls are pretty fickle minded, you know. Today she came home beaming – because another friend of hers said she liked her hair and wanted two plaits exactly like hers.
I am pretty sad that my mom let me chop mine. I miss having long hair and now, am trying to grow it. Futile.
This seems to be a common occurrence in every Tamilian household! How I laughed at your words “…view your hair as if it were my very own acreage of agricultural land.”! That’s exactly how my mother viewed my hair – and my one (and I would say only, although my mother would disagree violently) big act of teenage rebellion was – yes – cutting it! Only from hip-length to waist length, but my mother wouldn’t talk to me for days after that, and every relative was informed about the terrible thing I did!
So, I have tried not to be too possessive about my own daughter’s hair – though I’m sure the fact that I was far away from Madras helped!
Aiyo paavam, the little one has all my support on this one.
Who’s this from the enemy camp 
Shoo! Shoo! 
hahhah…good one..though I dont agree with your sentiments…hair is hair is hair…dead cells…hahhah…
I was 16 before I had the guts to just chop it off…and i feel it is too much fuss over nothing…
my daughter’s rate of growth is slow….and only now as she is turning 9, she has got some great texture to her hair….luckily and unlike me she doesnt mind Oil in her hair…that is another hurdle..which I had to cross from childhood…I used to hate the oil Mom used to put in my hair…and I always felt like this geek (that I was!!)
So now as D’s hair grows…to cut or not to cut..That is always the question!!….I must say, I try to go by her wishes….Yet this time when I see her hair looking Good…it does tweak my heart to chop it off…hahah…So Good Tamilian Sentiments Still to be sorted out..hahah
Thanks for the post…yu are flooding us with memories!
Everytime I cut my hair, my dad wouldn’t talk to me for days…
months.. and it took me several years to realise why he wasn’t
speaking to me…
‘Baaf cut’ is best for our climate!
LOL! ‘Baaf’ cut and ‘fant’ wear panna sooppar combinasun – like Shriya in Kandalsamy
Oh God, Shriya’s hair in Kandasamy looked like Kozhi feathers sticking out. It should have been Vikram’s hairdo!
Some mothers (and inlaws) get upset even when the person in question is almost 40, living far away, and supporting herself! At least my mother was only moaning the loss of my so-called beautiful tresses, the inlaws were mean about it.
i keep forgetting to leave my id…i am sowmya and the anonymous commenter on yr blog!
LOL, I logged in to Twitter to Tweet, “Now that golu is over hair chopped off admist protests” and what do I see?.
Protests are from Chula and Mieja, who said that they wanted their hair to be this long. I said, “You can decide that when you are as tall as me and can take care of your own hair. As long as I am in charge, I decide the length.” Result:”Thats not fair, you are mean amma.”
Can we exgchange children? Aww….shucks, exchange bexchange. Lets face it, no matter what we do, according to our children, we are not fair and we are mean.
Hi, slient reader of your blog. you express the same sentiments as my mom. she didn’t let me cut my hair until I got married. I cut it after moving to US. however now my husband trims my hair but then he gets upset if I want to cut it too short. my hair used to be below waist and now below shoulder
You are the opposite of my parents. They insisted we keep our hair short while growing up, because according to them it would be thicker and healthier if we grew it long later.
That’s precisely what my dad said and did, Ra. And I hated him for it. One of the reasons I want to see my daughter with long hair, at least for a while.
1 | ummon
October 4, 2009 at 6:14 pm
**Yes, maybe I do view your hair as if it were my very own acreage of agricultural land. ** LOL!
i wish my folks thought that way. only when i was old enough to take care of my hair by myself (like when i was 22 or something) did i start growing my hair. now it’s back to an almost crew cut thing.
but my (first) daughter is growing her hair, and is happy. let’s see for how long!